I used to have a friend, and I knew a lot about this friend. I knew everything she disliked. I knew every complaint she had. I knew what bugged her, her pet peeves, what really got under her skin.
And not much more.
No matter how much we hung out, I couldn’t tease out of her what exactly she enjoyed. What did she like? What was her favorite hobby? I knew she didn’t like today’s music… but what music did she like??
We didn’t stay friends for very long. After a while, I realized that I didn’t know her. I realized that hanging out felt more like a therapist session– a hard one, and with no pay.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting our hates define us for two reasons: 1. We all have difficulties in life, so there’s always something to talk about. 2. It feels good to vent.
But if venting is all you’re doing, you are being a burden to your friends, your loved ones… anyone that comes across your path.
Who are you? Can you answer this question without being negative?