This isn’t the first faith-based blog I have started. Not long ago, I was writing a blog called A New Christian’s Life. It quickly gathered a few followers… and that’s when things began to change.
I started to post like I knew what I was talking about. I wanted to teach and guide others. Quality declined. My flesh just wanted more followers, more attention… And slowly, I began to lose my connection with Christ.
I started to feel like the Holy Spirit just wasn’t talking to me anymore. It’s a hard feeling to put into words. I guess I would describe it as a separation from God.
And I didn’t like it.
Finding God was a long and winding road that didn’t happen until my 30’s, and I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to become lost again.
So, I deleted the blog. I also deleted a YouTube channel where I was speaking about my experiences as a new Christian. It wasn’t until recently that I realized what happened.
None of that was led by the Holy Spirit. None of that was done to glorify God.
I became wrapped up in the social media numbers, in the attention. And with that came some criticism as well– someone actually wrote me saying I shouldn’t use candles. Others wrote saying I shouldn’t read certain books.
I made a personal choice to become popular, and it gave me nothing but heartache and separation.
It was unpleasant, but I am glad for the conviction now.
CARM.org says about Christian conviction = “conviction in the believer brings an awareness of sin and results in repentance, confession and cleansing.”
I prayed. I asked for forgiveness. I admitted that although I had a zeal to help others know Christ, I really didn’t know what I was doing.
When I started this blog, I started small and simple– just some self-love, self-help, self-care posts. Slowly and gently, I was prompted to write a little more about my Christian life. Not like a teacher, and not to gain popularity. But just some uplifting posts about what I was learning that week.
Now I don’t even sit down to write without praying first and asking for guidance from God 😊 I always ask myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. Is it to glorify Him or is it to glorify me?
Take care and God bless,