Today I wanted to share with you the book The Christian’s Guide to No-Contact by Sister Renee Pittelli. This is an excellent book for those of us who come from difficult family situations.
One of the first things I thought as a new Christian was: wait a minute, am I going to have to be in harm’s way? In order to forgive, do I have to be near those who continue to hurt me??
I was worried, because I wanted to honor God… but I 100% did not want to put myself in danger again.
The truth is, there’s wicked people among us– sociopaths, narcissists, and abusers. As this book points out, these people get married and have kids. It’s hard to imagine anyone abusing their children, even up to adulthood, but it happens.
Those who bring trouble
on their families
inherit only the wind…
Proverbs 11:29 NLT
Let me tell you, this book has cleared up the myth for me. The myth that if I loved my enemies, I had to be around them– and thus be open to receiving their abuse again.
I am happy to say, this could not be further from the biblical truth!
And yes, some people will complain that it is NOT biblical to go no-contact with toxic, abusive family or people. They usually give vague excuses and have not experienced abuse themselves.
Reject a divisive man after
the first and second admonition,
knowing that such person
is warped and sinning, being self-condemned…
Titus 3:10-11 NKJV
This book is filled with Bible verses that encourage us to stay away from the wicked. It has helped me understand that God doesn’t want me to suffer, to put myself in danger, or to be potentially misled by the wicked.
Make no friendship
with an angry man;
and with a furious man
thou shalt not go:
lest thou learn his ways,
and get a snare to thy soul…
Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV
I am not suggesting that you do not forgive. I am not suggesting that you do not love your enemies. All I’m sharing is that I have found a resource that works for my specific situation.
And if you’re in a similar situation of abuse, pain, and hurt inflicted by your own family, this book may help you work some things out in a biblical context.
For my father and my mother
have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
Psalm 27:10 ESV
I forgive, I do. But God loves me and wants me to remain safe. He wants to keep you safe, as well.
Take care and God bless,
Thank you for reading and may God heal all your hurts!